Harmony Recovery has been providing addiction healthcare services in Estes Park since 1969. We would like to offer these stories from our alumni to show the humanity, strength, and perseverance of those working to recover from addiction. Often stigmatized and misunderstood by society, people on their path to recovery are managing a chronic illness which is a unique journey for each individual. Here is one such story. – Shane Hudson, CEO, Harmony Recovery
I had tried many times on my own to quit drinking before entering Harmony Recovery. Well, I take that back. I had tried to moderate my drinking—to control it, change it, modify it—but I wasn’t ready to quit completely. I tried many tactics: changing the kind of liquor I drank; drinking only at home; drinking only when I was out; drinking only on vacations; drinking only with friends; drinking only alone; drinking only when I was happy—ad infinitum.
Finally, when I decided I truly wanted to quit for good, I tried a whole new set of tactics. I tried Prozac, acupuncture, spiritual mind treatment, the marijuana maintenance program, therapy, positive thinking, self-help books, hypnosis, church, and more. Guess what? It didn’t work. There is a huge difference between recognizing that one has a problem with alcohol and admitting—and truly accepting—that one is powerless over alcohol.
Circumstances eventually conspired to bring me to this beautiful treatment center nestled in the woods. At Harmony, I learned that I was powerless over alcohol and that none of my tricks to manage it could work any longer. Harmony surrendered me. I was no longer trying to fix myself; instead, I allowed something greater than myself to help restore me to healthy, sound, rightful, and joyous living.
The peer-based supportive model, the excellent staff, the robust programming, the spiritual focus, and the beautiful natural environment allowed for full mind, body, and spiritual healing. I was no longer controlled by the demon vodka—I became free. Ironically, I was liberated by admitting I was powerless and that my ideas no longer worked. No amount of self-will could help me grasp the severity of alcohol’s grip on me. It was only by turning my life over to the treatment center and allowing them to guide me toward a higher way of living that I was able to rebuild my life.
The antidote to addiction is connection. Harmony provided genuine human connection, which allowed me to begin loving myself again. In my admission of defeat, I came home to myself.
A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love. Harmony ignited a miracle in my life. I came to believe that an alcohol-free life was not only possible, but the springboard to a beautiful and blessed life. By continuing to prioritize my recovery through spirituality, service, and community, I have not had a drink since February 26, 2006.
The gifts of recovery are immense, and they continue to manifest. My children are the greatest gift of my recovery, and they have never had to see their mom drink. I am able to use my life in service to others struggling with addiction and mental health issues as a psychotherapist and sober coach. My faith nurtures me and encourages me to put belief into action by serving my community. I am celebrating 20 years of sobriety by running the Boston Marathon.
These are the gifts of admitting I was powerless. Harmony gave me this foundation, and I continue to embrace it today. Yes, I am powerless over alcohol—but I am powerful beyond measure in creating a bright, beautiful, and blessed life that serves others.
– Ashley C.