Harmony Recovery has been providing addiction healthcare services in Estes Park since 1969. We would like to offer these stories from our alumni to show the humanity, strength, and perseverance of those working to recover from addiction. Often stigmatized and misunderstood by society, people on their path to recovery are managing a chronic illness which is a unique journey for each individual. Here is one such story. – Shane Hudson, CEO, Sr. Vice President, AllHealth Network
My story is not one full of disaster. I didn’t ruin my life. I didn’t go to jail. My relationships stayed intact. I never lost a home or a job. I didn’t go broke or incur an enormous amount of debt. Yet, despite not experiencing any great hardship or loss, alcohol brought me to my rock bottom. It became the main source of my depression and anxiety. I know that even though I never experienced many of the negative outcomes of alcoholism and addiction, they are waiting for me if I decide to go back out.
I grew up in Colorado and lived what many would call a normal life. I had (and still have) incredibly supportive parents who provided me with many opportunities for which I am grateful. My drinking started in high school around the age of 16. My friends had already been experimenting with alcohol, and I decided it sounded fun. I didn’t know it at the time, but I didn’t drink like the rest of my friends. I enjoyed it so much that I started sneaking it early on. Whether it was at my grandparents’ house, stealing beers I knew they didn’t drink, or at home waiting for my parents to leave the house, I would try to get my hands on it every chance I got.
To me, this was normal behavior. I thought all my friends were doing the same thing. When I went to college, I used the idea that “everybody is doing it” to further justify my need to drink. My life wasn’t unmanageable. I still earned decent grades. Therefore, there was no reason for me to think that I had a problem with drinking.
Time came and went, and before I knew it, my 20s slipped through my fingers. I drank (and smoked) my way through almost 10 years of living. Drinking became my life. I progressed from having a few drinks each night to waking up so hungover that the only way to seemingly alleviate my symptoms was to take a few sips of liquor to try to fall back asleep. Then would come the morning mixed drink and the promise that if I could just hold off for the rest of the day, I could stop for good.
That never happened. The daily cycle repeated itself over and over until I eventually gave up hope that I could quit at all. I decided that this was my life and that I would probably die young, and it wouldn’t matter anyway.
Through the grace of God, a miracle happened. I had one final bender that ended with me on my parents’ couch, crying because I felt tired and overwhelmed. That was the moment I knew I needed more than just therapy or a prescription from a doctor. I decided I was going to go to rehab.
Harmony was the second institution I called, and they offered me a bed that same day. I was scared to go, so I told them I could come up that Friday. I had no idea what was in store for me. I had never done anything like this before. Walking through those doors on 11/18/2022 was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Harmony was where I learned that I am not the only one struggling with alcoholism and addiction. I was introduced to an entirely new way of living. The way the program was structured turned out to be exactly what I needed. I learned more about myself there than I ever had in the past. I was also introduced to a solution to my problem—a solution that I still practice each day. If it weren’t for Harmony, I don’t know if I would be sitting here writing my story.
I am grateful for each and every staff member who was understanding, patient, and friendly. I am grateful for the beautiful setting at Harmony and for being able to recover in nature. And I’m grateful for the community of people I have been given. It’s a community I can always lean on, no matter where I am in my journey.
Harmony set me up with the tools for success. No longer does my life revolve around alcohol. I have a healthy relationship with myself, which allows me to have healthy relationships with others. I am more confident, work harder, and am happier than I’ve ever been. If it’s possible for me, I know it is possible for you, too.
-Nick B.