I began my struggle with addiction in junior high in the mid-1980s, but I believe it started long before I tried any mind-altering substances. Things never felt right, and I always felt I did not belong. I’ve heard it explained that it seemed like everyone received a user manual for this thing called life—except me. I experienced some trauma when I was younger, and this definitely played a part in how I coped with life for the next thirty years. The moment I had my first drink—and soon after, just about every substance I could find, I felt empowered and free.
My home life was as good as it could be. I had both parents, an older brother, and a stable, supportive household. But my addictive personality told me this was not enough—that the highs and the friends I made through that lifestyle were better and more important. I went from having good grades in school and being an active, award-winning member of the swim team and school band (I was even an Eagle Scout) to dropping out my senior year and moving in with my friendly neighborhood pot dealer (no offense to the purveyors of this drug).
I continued to make poor choices throughout the 1990s, and most of my recollections from that decade come from secondhand accounts. My drug use intensified in both frequency and variety, and I could not maintain a job, relationships, or stable living situation. My relationships with family and friends deteriorated accordingly. In 1996, I received a DUI and was sentenced to mandatory twelve-step recovery meetings as part of my sentence. This laid the groundwork for recovery later in my story.
I managed a semblance of recovery at that point and went to school to become a surgical technologist. I met my first wife during this time. We were married for ten years, and I spent that entire marriage practicing self-will and “white knuckling” my sobriety. We had three wonderful children, and I experienced some success in both work and family life. However, I could never fully maintain my recovery and cycled through periods of sobriety that lasted weeks, months, or even years.
Toward the end of the marriage, I lost the battle with my addiction. We separated and eventually divorced in 2012. This led to a full-on bender, as the old-timers would say, and I lost and destroyed everything in my life.
After two years of extremely heavy drug use, I found myself in a suicidal standoff with authorities. I was tased, and I believe that moment brought one of my first instances of clarity in years. Afterward, the sheriff asked me, “Do you want to ride that bull again, son?” With every fiber of my being, I replied, “No.” I had finally had enough.
After some time in the hospital and a behavioral health center, my mother found a bed for me at Harmony Recovery.
This was a watershed, life-changing moment. I was mentally and physically broken and had so thoroughly destroyed my life that I was given what some call “the gift of desperation.” I was completely ready for change, and Harmony was there to provide it. I threw myself into the program and received the tools I needed to begin working on myself. I learned about the science of addiction, the twelve steps, and other community-based recovery programs. I began exploring my behavior through therapy and started to heal.
After Harmony, I followed their suggestions. I became deeply involved in a twelve-step program and moved into sober living, with the help of their wonderful case management staff. Through connections in the recovery community, I was hired at a substance abuse program, where I worked in a number of roles for the next nine years. I repaired relationships with my family and regained custody of my children. I surrounded myself with people living a sober lifestyle and did everything I could to heal and become the person I needed to be—for my family, myself, and the world. My time at Harmony planted the seed that this kind of life was possible for someone like me.
In 2024, I met the love of my life. We moved to Loveland, Colorado, and began building a wonderful life filled with music, chickens, dogs, and cats. I had always wanted to work at Harmony and give back what was given to me, so I applied and was hired as a Counseling Technician in early 2025. The circle was complete.
Today, I have an amazing relationship with my wife (most days—love you, babe!), my brother, most of my children, and a network of friends that is small but incredibly strong. It hasn’t all been easy. I’ve struggled with mental health and depression. I’ve navigated rebuilding my family and overcoming legal hurdles. I’ve endured the loss of my parents. Through it all—the good times and the bad—I have remained clean and sober (knock on wood). I attend therapy and practice daily habits that nourish my mind, body, and soul. I am even enrolled in classes again at fifty-three years old. Things could be much worse, and I do my best to stay grounded in gratitude.
None of this would have been possible without the help and support that began my journey at Harmony, and for that, I am eternally grateful. With the universe willing, I will celebrate twelve years of continuous sobriety in May 2026.
– Kevin S.